You Don't Have To Be Afraid of Me Anymore
by dr.Tea
Summary: With Tesla's life on the line, Nnoitra realizes what his Fraccion means to him.


_You don't have to be afraid of me anymore_

_(Nnoitra/Tesla one-shot by dr. Tea)_

No. It couldn't be. No. No. No. NO. NO! All the blood that splattered over the white sand didn't belong to Tesla. It couldn't. He had told him to run. Yes. He had called him a fucking idiot too, but that wasn't important. But, if he had told Tesla to run… Why was the sand now colored red with blood? It wasn't his own, because he couldn't be cut, that much was clear. It wasn't any of the shinigami's either. The feeling of guilt that built up in his stomach made him want to throw up, even if he had never done that before. His legs were shaking, and remaining on his feet suddenly became too much for the strongest espada. He buried his knees in the white sand. His Zanpakuto fell to the ground, because his hand was too weak to hold it. His eyes were fixed on the fallen body which shrunk in size until Tesla's Resurrection was gone. Just his slim body remained. It lay there too silent, and covered in red. Why didn't he get up to stand by Nnoitra's side? Even though his voice didn't want to be used right now, he opened his mouth and called for his loyal companion.

"Tesla." The sound came out so weak. Why couldn't he speak like he normally did? He wanted to scream and call Tesla bad names for not coming to him right away. But the little fraction didn't move. He didn't even make a sound. He didn't say 'my greatest apologies', like he always did when he couldn't meet Nnoitra's expectations. Even though he always did. His chest hurt. It was hard to breathe. Tesla had to move now. Just a tiny movement. Nnoitra found himself pleading. Please Tesla just don't die. At that thought he felt like his heart was gonna stop. Die. Tesla's death? No. No. Never. Not Tesla. Everybody else, yes, but not Tesla. But Tesla's body remained still.

The shinigami who had hurt Tesla was looking at him. Nnoitra knew he had to lift his Zanpakuto to defend himself. But what was the point? He wanted to get over to his fraccion. He wanted to kneel down beside him and lift him up. To carry him to someone who could help. He looked over at the gingerwhore, Ulquiorra's pet. She could heal any injury, couldn't she? Nnoitra knew he had to get up. If he was going to hold Tesla in his arms to make sure he was ok, he had to move. He was shaking as he got up.

"You're next, right?" the shinigami said. Nnoitra didn't answer. He looked past the tall man, his eyes fixed on Tesla.

"Careful, Kenpachi, he is strong!" Kurosaki warned. But Nnoitra didn't want to fight. He always wanted to fight, but not right now. Not while all that blood came from Tesla's pale body.

"Shut up. I can feel his reiatsu just fine!" Kenpachi didn't seem like he cared how strong Nnoitra was. And that was okay. He didn't feel like the strongest espada right now. He just felt like he had let himself down. Himself, and Tesla. Tesla had always done everything he ever could for Nnoitra, and what had he gotten in return? Guilt was almost suffocating him now, as he took two steps towards the shinigami. He had to get past him to get to Tesla. So be it. He picked up Santa Teresa, even though he barely managed to lift it.

"Get outta my way." He said. His voice was low, and didn't sound quite as intimidating as he had hoped. He needed this guy to move. Get the fuck out of his way. Whatever it took.

"So, you wanna fight? I thought you lost the will when your buddy over there died." Nnoitra felt anger building up. He wanted to kill him, but that had to wait. Tesla was top priority. When his buddy died? Died? He wasn't dead! He couldn't be. There was no way Nnoitra would let anyone take Tesla away like that. It was just out of the question.

"Get outta my way." He repeated, unable to get his mind to work properly. The blood was sinking into the sand. Fuck. How much blood was that? The shinigami didn't move. He kept standing in his way. Kept prevaricating him. The grip on Santa Teresa was strong now. Tesla wouldn't like it if he became weak. He took pride in serving the strongest espada. And he was going to get to him.

With a quick motion he swung his sword at the shinigami. He tried to block it with his puny sword, but the power was more than he had anticipated. It sent him flying somewhere. Nnoitra didn't care were. Instead he hurried over to his fraccion. He fell to his knees at his side, his white pants taking up some of the blood from the sand. He lifted him up in his arms, and held him. He needed to hold him. Just for a little while. His precious Tesla. He found himself hugging the smaller male. Why was he so pale? And… Was he ever breathing? The question which had been lurking in the debt of Nnoitra's mind was answered.

"Nnoitra-sama?" Tesla's voice was barely hearable. But it was there. And it was the best sound he had ever heard. His one good eye was just a crack, but he could see life in it.

"Yeah, I'm here, Tesla." Nnoitra reassured him, and he didn't even bother hiding the relief in his voice. This guy was the only being he cared about in all of the worlds he knew. And he wasn't gonna lose him now. No fucking way.

"My deepest apologies, Nnoitra-sama… I could not… Carry out your orders." Tesla coughed weakly. Nnoitra fastened his grip on him and shook his head. What was this salty liquid running from his eye? He wanted to wipe it away, but both his arms were holding Tesla so it was no use. Nnoitra Gilga, the strongest espada couldn't cry. He didn't cry.

"Shut up, idiot, you don't have to apologize! You did plenty. Now, I need you to do one more thing for me, okay?" he tried to keep calm, but his voice was clearly shaking. He couldn't show Tesla weakness, that wouldn't be right. He had to be strong, for him. For them both.

"Hai, Nnoitra-sama." Tesla almost couldn't speak.

"Don't die on me, okay? Don't you fucking dare die, Tesla." Nnoitra whispered, his voice failing him. The tears that wouldn't stop coming poured down his face. He couldn't even pull air into his lounges. It hurt. It hurt so much.

"My greatest apologies… Nnoitra-sama… But I… Don't think I can…." Tesla snapped after air, but his body was giving up the fight. Too much blood. His vital organs probably slashed too. Nnoitra looked around, desperate for any solution. Any.

"No! Tesla! For fuck sake! Don't give up, okay? You can do this. I'll make it alright again! I'll…" Nnoitra's voice cracked up, and he couldn't say another word. His body was shaking violently, as tears blinded his one gray eye. His eyes fell on the ginger again. And even though the strongest espada never asked for anything, and even though he couldn't really speak anymore, he opened his mouth. "Please." He said. The word unfamiliar to his lips. It came out raw and honest. This was the only thing Nnoitra had truly wanted in his life, ever. Being the strongest espada wasn't even on the table compared to this.

He didn't really see her getting up or walking over to them. He didn't hear Kurosaki's voice when he told her to not do it. But what he could see was Tesla's wound closing up.

The feeling of pure happiness that flushed over him was something he had never experienced before. He was so relieved he didn't know what to do with himself. He did, however, know what to do with Tesla. So he kept holding him. Digging his long, bony fingers into his wheat-coloured hair. It was soft.

Tesla opened his eye again, and looked up at his master. Nnoitra could see the confusion in his eyes. Surely the fraccion never could have imagined such softness from him. But Nnoitra didn't pull away or pretend it didn't happen.

"Nnoitra-sama?" Tesla asked. His voice wasn't normal, but it was much stronger than it had been. It made Nnoitra feel even better.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here." He said, even though it was obvious. He wasn't good with this stuff, so he basically just said the first thing that came to mind. Both shinigamies and the gingerwhore, who perhaps wasn't that much of a whore (yes she was) were looking at them. For a second Nnoitra almost feared they would attack, but they didn't.

Nnoitra got up, and pulled Tesla up with him. Tesla had to lean on him for support. But that was okay. He didn't seem too sure about it though, because as soon as he was standing, he pulled away from the espada. He instantly stumbled, almost falling over, but Nnoitra grabbed him. "Idiot! You're not recovered! Just lean on me." Tesla looked in awe, but did as he was told.

"Um… Nnoitra-sama?" Tesla was brave, daring to ask the espada a question. But Nnoitra wasn't mad. Didn't sneer at him or punish him like he normally would. He just looked at him, and if it hadn't been impossible for the quinto espada to look kind, he would have. "Am I dead?" he asked. Nnoitra knew why he asked, but it still gave him a little sting. Of course he didn't think this was real. Nnoitra wasn't like this. But just because he had used to be an asshole didn't mean he had to stay that way forever. It was possible for hollows to change. He remembered all the things he had done to Tesla. How rude and ungrateful. Tesla was the only one who believed in him. The only one who could stand his company. When he had seen all that blood, images of himself alone had flashed in front of his eyes. And he couldn't imagine that. Even though he cared for strength, what was the point if nobody was there to see it? And what was the point of being so strong if there was nobody to protect? And how would he have felt if Tesla had died, when the last thing he knew from Nnoitra was spite? Nnoitra swallowed hard, before he answered the question Tesla had asked him.

"No, you're not dead. And you're not dreaming." Tesla looked confused. He had been expecting a different answer.

"But.."

"It's okay, Tesla. You don't have to be afraid of me anymore."


End file.
